Domestic violence survivors are hoping Domestic and Family Violence Prevention month is a good time to talk about their experiences, and highlight signs of abuse they wish they’d seen earlier.

UN Women Australia says 1 in 3 women worldwide has experienced violence, mostly by an intimate partner. It says women of all ages, races, culture, and socio-economic situations can experience domestic violence, sexual harassment, and assault.

A woman in an abusive relationship for six years, who asked not to be named, says she was very isolated from family and friends and went through multiple significant moments of physical abuse.

“He drove my children and I out on a mountain trail walk at 2am and held me at knife point in the car. He then ordered us to get out of the car, told me we had a five-minute head start and when he catches me, he will stab me in front of my children,” she says.

“I ran as fast as I could with two children and found a crevice big enough to hide in. I held their mouths so he couldn’t hear them breathe. We stayed there until the morning.”

Forty-year-old Linda says her relationship was centred around doing everything and anything for her male partner.

“I had to do everything for him, and he was always the victim of something. I felt completely drained. He stressed me out so much that I started experiencing a myriad of health issues.”

She says the man pursued a relationship with her for financial support and housing.

“He is also a hobosexual (someone who pursues romantic relationships mainly for financial support and/or housing rather than genuine affection) and trauma dumped on me and lied to me saying that his parents were incredibly abusive and that he needed to move out ASAP”.

Edwina Jones (not her real name) says more information could have helped when she was struggling.

“I think they do need a register and they don’t have one currently, which basically means we are going in blind. We could be with a murderer that’s yet to be convicted, or we could be with a future murderer who has long-standing DV.”

Hear more from Edwina Jones. Audio: Indya Cullen.  

The huge humber of responses to a Facebook post asking if people were willing to discuss abusive relationships. Photos: Indya Cullen.

Sophie Evelyn says she ignored many initial warning signs of her abusive relationship in 2024, and wishes she had more education on what signs of abuse look like.

“In the beginning he put me on a pedestal and made me feel on top of the world, he was love bombing me. His ‘protectiveness’ slowly turned into controlling behaviours, the relationship wasn’t healthy and was happening too quickly,” she says.

“Having more information and understanding of these signs would’ve helped.”

Hazel Meijden says she was in an emotionally and mentally abusive relationship, and having more information on the subtle and early signs of abuse may have prevented her from falling into the situation.

“I always thought I knew what abuse looked like and how to avoid DV relationships, but I wasn’t truly aware of how subtle the signs can be. I think when women think about DV they think about the physical violence, but don’t think about the subtle emotional abuse.”

Clinical Psychologist Dr Auretta Kummar says more information will help victims piece together the reality of their situation.

“Abuse occurs slowly and gradually overtime, the person doesn’t even realise it is happening, but when we put all the information together, often by an outsider, the abuse becomes more obvious,” she says.

“Education and information on domestic violence needs to include awareness of what a healthy relationship looks like and what healthy boundaries look like.”

If you or someone you know is impacted by sexual assault, family or domestic violence, call :

Lifeline: 13 11 14         

Women domestic violence helpline: (08) 9223 1188 or 1800 007 339

1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732                  

Sexual assault resource centre: 1800 199 888