I lost my mum at 18. Cancer. Two years on, and I am still navigating the ways of life without her. In many ways the grief moves with me in my daily life. It’s not always obvious. Sometimes it lingers in the background, other times it hits me unexpectedly; A familiar smell, or even a piece of advice I wish I could still ask her for. She was and will always be my rock.

My mum was diagnosed with terminal bowel cancer in November 2022. She was a healthy woman. Didn’t smoke, barely drank and was a gentle soul to everyone she met. What she thought was appendix or stomach pain turned into a deadly sickness that took her life by May of 2023. She was only 51. Six months of watching my best friend turn into a person who I couldn’t even recognise. Weekly hospital visits, emergency scans and over twenty-five rounds of chemotherapy. Her body couldn’t take the pain anymore.

Not only has cancer taken my mum’s life, it affects families long after the diagnosis – changing everything about how they live and love. While my experience is just one example, countless other families have faced similar battles each with their own story to tell.

What is bowel cancer?

Bowel cancer, also known as colorectal cancer, begins in the inner wall of the bowel, often starting with small growths called polyps which can turn into cancer if they aren’t found early. Once it develops, the cancer can move to other areas of the body. Mum’s moved into her liver and then progressively spread throughout her body.

Once considered an ‘old man’s disease’, bowel cancer has become one of the leading causes of cancer-related deaths among young Australians, with 46 per cent of cases affecting women and about 2530 people dying each year according to Bowel Cancer Australia. WA Cancer Council prevention and research director Melissa Ledger says the rising number of young people being diagnosed is an alarming trend.

“We know that these incidents have been increasing over the last 30 years for people under the age of 50 and it is something that needs to be taken notice of now.”

Bowel cancer is often harder to diagnose in younger people as doctors may mistake their symptoms for more common conditions for that particular age group. Such as irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), menstrual changes, etc.

My experience with my mum’s sickness. Video: Tess Pringle.

Phillippa Greenwood-Jones

Phillippa Greenwood-Jones, based in Currambine, works as a transport modeller for an engineering consultancy, a role she has held for the past decade. Outside of work, she takes part in parkrun each week when she’s well, and enjoys life at home with her wife and two dogs

Greenwood-Jones was just 40 when she was diagnosed with stage three bowel cancer which over time has progressed to stage four.

Greenwood-Jones has always had IBS but when she noticed a bit of blood in her stool, she knew something wasn’t quite right. What she thought would be a routine visit to the doctor ended up being a colonoscopy.

“The doctor told me they’d found a tumour in my bowel and he was 99% sure it was cancer. I was still a bit dazed from the anaesthetic and just went in to shock really. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing,” she says. 

From then on, Greenwood-Jones was referred to a surgeon to start immediate treatment. The illness has stripped her of a normal, healthy life leaving her with the constant reminder of her sickness. She says not only is it affecting her personal life but her work life too.

“I’m not even working full-time at the moment because I’m having chemotherapy. I’m working 15 hours a week from home, so I miss out on going to the office and the social interaction partly because of the travel with my bowel but also because of the risk of picking up an infection.”

Diseases as deadly as cancer often change the dynamics between friends, family and spouses. For many it brings families closer together, but it can also create emotional strain as loved ones may struggle to cope with fear, grief or uncertainty about the future. Greenwood-Jones says it has impacted her whole inner circle but more heavily her wife and parents.

“At times my wife is 100% my carer rather than my wife. She obviously has emotions to deal with too, given that ultimately she is now going to be left on her own a lot sooner than either of us expected.” she says.

“My parents in particular are finding it tough since I’m an only child, and no-one expects their child to die before them.”

Greenwood-Jones says there are many support groups for cancer patients but the awareness around them needs to be stronger. She explains that through her early diagnosis, she’s found many women who have been diagnosed with cancer in their early 40’s. She says the common blame is around female hormonal issues.

“I have met a lot of women in their 40’s who were told the bowel cancer symptom of fatigue was just due to them being busy working mums or just the pressures of life. Similarly, weight loss and change of bowel habits are often put down to stress,” she says.

Katie Clarke

Katie Clarke, a Mandurah mum of two boys, has always had a love for exploring new places, having visited around 30 countries. Before her diagnosis, she worked as a ballroom dancing teacher, education assistant and retail manager, and had rarely been unwell, until bowel cancer struck.

Clarke agrees with the need for more awareness for women with cancer. Clarke was diagnosed with bowel cancer in 2013, at 43 years old. As a mother of two she had other priorities at the time so she didn’t think twice about the unexplained weight loss or diarrhoea. 

She struggled with doctors who seemed unsure how to help her.

Clarke was sent for a colonoscopy the following week, after the doctors realised how much pain she was in. That’s when she found out she had a tumour.

“I just took it. I’d just been told I had cancer, and when the doctor looked at me in the face and said, ‘you realise it’s cancer, Katie?’ I just replied, yeah, I know, there’s nothing I can do about it. You’ve got to fix me.”

Time and time again, she felt her concerns were ignored with doctors doubting patients’ knowledge of their own bodies. 

During this period, both her boys were at school but without the support they needed her eldest ending up dropping out. She says her boys felt like they were the only ones in their friend groups going through something so challenging. That led to them feeling isolated 

“My eldest, he ended up leaving school because I was going through all the treatment as a single mum so there was no one to keep an eye on him school. So it affects everybody, it affects everyone in the family.”

Curtin University professor of psychology Lauren Breen describes the challenges that young people face when teenagers experience something like this in their lives.Curtin University professor of psychology Lauren Breen, highlights the challenges that young people face when teenagers experience something like this in their lives.

“There can be dips in educational attainment because it’s hard to worry about what essay is due on Monday when something like this has happened. It’s already such a difficult and formative time of life and adding something like that makes it an even bigger challenge.”

Professor Breen suggests that an increase in anxiety or depression is possible in these cirucumstances. Although young bereaved people often feel isolated from their friends, this experience is actually very common.

“As young people grow, their thoughts and emotions become more complex, they begin to see situations in new ways or understand things they didn’t at the time, and that deeper awareness can sometimes heighten feelings of anxiety or depression.”

Natasha Rantanen-Holt

Natasha Rantanen-Holt had her life turned upside down when her mum Vivia Marie was diagnosed with cancer in November 2024. The cancer being so deadly to the body, she then lost her mum only three months later. With it just being herself and her mum throughout the majority of her life, she lost her best friend. Thy enjoyed spending time going down south or partying together. She said her mum had been the life of every party she went to: a happy vibrant, person who brought energy into everything she did.dhlndkn

Rantanen-Holt says she spoke to her mum every day. Whether she was driving in the car or simply craving some quality time, her mum was always the first person she turned to for every conversation.

She was at the family home when she found out about her mum’s sickness. Her mum had mentioned she was in hospital and was being sent to another facility for further tests.

“When she first felt the pain, she thought it might be her gallbladder but when doctors said it looked like her ovaries she was transferred to another hospital as the regional one didn’t have the necessary equipment.”

Rantanen-Holt remembered the moment she was first told it could be related to her mum’s ovaries and how her mind immediately went to ovarian cancer, even though she had nothing concrete to base that on.

She began googling at work, unable to shake the feeling that something was seriously wrong. The wait for test results felt endless. She and her boyfriend sat on the couch playing video games trying to distract themselves.” she says.

Hear more from Natasha Rantanen-Holt. Video: Tess Pringle.

Vivia Marie Rantanen never had the chance to begin chemotherapy. Within just three months of her diagnosis, her body was too weak to withstand the treatment. Marie Rantanen spent most of her illness in hospital, a period that placed a heavy strain on her relationships. The rapid decline underscores how aggressive and unforgiving cancer can be, even for those who appear healthy. Rantanen-Holt is much like other young adults who have lost a parent, carrying their grief while learning to live without them.

Hearing all these stories has made me realise I am not alone. When people say ‘cancer’ or ‘the C word’ it doesn’t scare me anymore. It makes me appreciate the strength of those who face it, the toll it takes on not only them but also their families and friends. It makes me appreciate the courage my mum faced to keep going. It makes me see the importance of sharing our stories and lifting each other up.