WARNING. This article contains details about suicide and mental health.

‘You’re a joke, Christian. You looked terrible at the gym. What a joke you are.’

These are the kinds of toxic messages Perth teenager Christian Caruso received daily before they pushed him over the edge. For teenagers, social media is a space for friends to connect, share, and have fun, but for some, it has become a warzone where friends can become frenemies. What begins with an innocent tease can quickly escalate into relentless harassment and abuse. Cyberbullying is no laughing matter. It, can have devastating consequences and worse people can die.

‘Frenemies’ use platforms like Snapchat to launch full-scale assaults against their friends, attacking everything from their appearance to their interests and life choices. Remembering that friends make the best enemies is crucial in understanding the consequences of falling victim to frenemies. This article will investigate teenage cyberbullying by speaking to a heartbroken mum, a female victim of cyberbullying and professionals in the field revealing how online abuse can deeply affect young people’s lives.

The effects of cyberbullying. Infographic: Sebastian Salvo.

A personal story

Grace Caruso was a typical mother who loved and cared for her two sons, but a group of her youngest son’s friends frantic and deadly cyberbullying pushed her youngest son to the limits and he took his own life in 2022. Christian Caruso was an ordinary, resilient, and vibrant 15-year-old who had his whole life in front of him. After successfully battling leukemia in primary school, he looked forward to settling into his new high school, Servite College in Tuart Hill. He had done what every other teenager does, hanging out with his friends and socialising, especially on Snapchat. However, he fell victim to cyberbullying instigated by his friends. As he got older, the gym became Christian’s obsession and he would train from six to nine every day without fail, bringing along his friends. Throughout it all, his closest bond remained with his mum. 

Christian Caruso. Photo: Supplied.

“Christian was very, very attached to me… once he was diagnosed with leukaemia, that bond even strengthened more because I was with him 24 hours a day,” she says.

After her son’s tragic death, she learned about the cyberbullying her son was receiving from his friends through a Snapchat group chat, which they deleted after his passing.

“It wasn’t a long-term type of bullying. It was like friends being nasty … frenemies,” she says.

Even though the cyberbullying began after Christmas and only lasted four days, it left deep scars. His friends group, which consisted of boys and girls he considered friends attacked his appearance and mocked him continually.

“They posted nasty comments about his appearance. Christian was insecure about his appearance… that would have shattered his confidence,” she says.

The suddenness of it still haunts her today.

“It would have been very unexpected for him because one day they were at the beach, and then the next day this group chat just pops up bullying him,” she says.

Grace Caruso would later find evidence of how much it hurt her son.

“I found screenshots of photos of him crying… he wrote in the caption I love spending my Christmas holidays crying,” she says.

Example of messages Christian would receive Graphic: Sebastian Salvo. 

Looking back, Grace Caruso feels her son’s death was not planned; rather, it was a spontaneous decision he made after the cyberbullying became unbearable.

“He booked himself a haircut. He asked me to write a resume for him. He was preparing for the days, weeks, and months ahead,” she says.

The night of his death, before her son left home, he says an ordinary goodbye, which did not raise her suspicions.

“There was no sense of a final goodbye. None whatsoever,” she says.

After her son’s death, people would later come forward saying they saw him walking around Karrinyup shopping centre, crying and distressed while talking on the phone. Throughout it all, he wrote to his friends on the group chat, informing them of what he was about to do. Grace knows her son waited around 50 minutes for his friends but no one came.

“It only takes 10 minutes to get to Karrinyup. One of his friends could have called or messaged me, but no-one did,” she says.

Police later could not retrieve messages he received on the bullying group chat because everyone had left the chat allowing it to delete automatically.

Vivianna Jansco, a psychologist for more than 20 years, provided this insight into why cyberbullying by frenemies is so potent. “When the cyberbullying comes from a friend— someone you trust — it can be especially confusing and painful. It has a different kind of impact compared to being bullied by a stranger.”

Cyberbullying can also lead to long-term consequences like difficulties trusting people, problems with relationships, and even trauma-like symptoms. Dr. Oliver Guidetti, an academic in psychology and a psychological scientist working with the University of Wollongong, agrees. 

“A stranger’s comment might sting, but a friend’s attack cuts deeper. The impact is magnified because trust has been broken,” he says. “When cyberbullying comes from a friend, it’s not just bullying, it’s betrayal. That betrayal adds another layer of hurt you don’t get from a stranger online,” he says. 

While the style of cyberbullying can differ between teenage men and women, they commonly stem from the same motivations, as Guidetti explains below.  

A battleground for bullies

Jenny* is a 20-year-old woman who was traumatised from the cyberbullying she experienced at high school. Graduating from Chisholm Catholic College in 2024, she describes how Snapchat was used as a battleground for her bullies. 

“Snapchat really felt like a haven for those who wanted to pick on me — the disappearing messages and lack of protections made it easier for bullies to act without consequences,” she says.

According to Jenny cyberbullying often happens on social media because friendships in people’s teenage years are still fragile, and exploring who they are can make them vulnerable to manipulation. 

“Before, I would open up to anyone I thought was my friend, but after being bullied, I’m way more cautious. I must judge someone’s character before letting them in,” says Jenny.

The most hurtful aspect of her experience, says Jenny, was the cyberbullying came from a group of girls she thought were her friends.

Jenny’s frenemies were so damaging because they acted as if they cared about her while they actively sent her hurtful messages targeting her appearance and emotions.  “They thought it was funny to pick on me because I’m emotional — crying or getting angry would make them react more, so I became their target,” she says.

This frenemy group used strength in numbers, which caused her mental health to plummet, attacking everything from how she did her hair to how she applied her makeup. Jenny explains how they would write to her after school: ‘Your hair looked disgusting today, and why did you do your makeup like that?’

“I had a pretty bad relationship with my mental health during those years; it was hard,” Jenny recalls.

The emotional toll of this cyberbullying was significant, and from year 10 onwards, Jenny saw the in-school psychologist to open up and seek support for her mental health. 

“Seeing the school psychologist really helped — I felt like she understood me even if she wasn’t in my position, and that made a big difference,” she says.

Learning from her experiences, Jenny developed a way to deal with her trauma and overcome this cyberbullying while still being mindful of who she trusts. She offered this advice. 

The statistics of cyberbullying. Infographic: Sebastian Salvo.

Dr Guidetti urges parents to have an open conversation with their teenagers about the dangers of cyberbullying. He encourages everyone to maintain an open dialogue and monitor changes in the moods of their teenage children.

“If the victim is a teenager, this can really leave quite long-lasting effects. And when it’s coming from a friend, the betrayal makes the impact even deeper than if it were a stranger,” he says.  

Cyberbullying in WA. Infographic: Sebastian Salvo.

Support is readily available

In 2024, the Western Australian government invested $45 million to strengthen mental health crisis care services for children and teenagers across Perth and the Great Southern. In Western Australia, there are several services teenagers can go to when experiencing cyberbullying. These services include The Kids Helpline, free counselling, and Headspace, which provides mental health support at centres around Perth and the Peel. Teenagers can also go to the eSafety Commissioners reporting website which helps remove hurtful online content.

Steps to report cyberbullying. Infographic: Sebastian Salvo.

headspace is an organisation where teenagers can seek support. It also provides early intervention mental health services for 12 to 25-year-olds.  It helps thousands of teenagers across Australia access support through its centres, as well as providing phone counselling services and having a presence in schools.   

headspace’s Priscila Menezes, from its Osborne Park centre, says friendships and peer acceptance are central to a young Australian’s sense of identity, and cyberbullying during these stages can lead to a sense of rejection. Priscila explains the damaging effects that frenemies can have on teenagers between the ages of 12 and 18.

“Friendships and peer acceptance are central to a young Australians sense of identity, and cyberbullying during these stages can lead to a sense of rejection,” she says. Headspace has found that consistent cyberbullying can contribute to anxiety, depression, school refusal, self-harm, and, in some cases, suicidal thoughts.

A bitter irony: vandals defaced a poster about cyberbullying featuring Christian Caruso. Photo:Supplied.

A mother’s advice

Grace Caruso has this advice for parents. “Listen to your kids and look for signs,” she says. “Sometimes it’s the little things that matter most. Tell someone you trust, friends, family, teachers, because you don’t have to go through it alone.”

Grace Caruso with her husband watching the sunset. Photo: Grace Caruso.

Trigger warning: If you, or someone else, are at immediate risk of suicide, call triple zero (000) and ask for an ambulance.

*Jenny is not the real name of this interviewee. She asked to remain anonymous.