Some people grow up fantasising and dreaming of their future wedding day, what it will look like, who will be there. They imagine and dream up every detail down to the colour palette. But is marriage today just that? A dream?

As it turns out, that depends on the location. In Australia, marriage rates have been steadily decreasing, with a 30.6 per cent drop between the years 2019 to 2020 according to the ABS. The same trend is being seen in many Western countries. For various reasons, the situation in Singapore is more complicated.

Is marriage common in Singapore?

According to the Singapore Department of Statistics, the number of marriages has increased, with 29,389 marriages in 2022, while the number of people wanting to get married is decreasing very slowly.

Many young citizens in Singapore are still determined to get married, yet others are starting to form other opinions.

Claire Carter, 28, a Singaporean citizen who recently got married, has noticed a decrease in the amount of people getting married around her.

“I have several friends in committed relationships who don’t see it as necessary to get married because they don’t intend on having children,” she says.

According to Singapore’s Population Brief, in 2022 the country had 30,429 births, 4.0 per cent fewer than the prior year. The fertility rate also reached an all-time low in 2022, with a rate of 1.04 per female. Having children in Singapore is becoming less popular, resulting in residents not feeling a need to get married as having children and being married are one and the same in the culture of Singapore.

Ms Carter and her husband met in church after he moved back to Singapore from Perth, Western Australia, to complete his national service.

“I was assigned to befriend him, and I guess we became friends and then more than friends from there. After dating for four years, he proposed to me in the middle of Botanic Gardens. It was lovely, my friends and family were there,” she says.

Despite love stories like this, the concept of getting married is slowly becoming more unpopular amongst the younger generations in Singapore. The National Population and Talent Division of Singapore conducted a survey in 2021 which indicated that 80 per cent of single respondents between the ages of 21-35 intended to get married but the number has been decreasing over the years with 83 per cent in 2016 and 86 per cent in 2012.

Ms. Carter feels that her drive to get married was due to wanting a lifelong companion. She believes that having her husband by her side has made her a better person.

“It [marriage] seems like the ‘natural progression’ of a Singaporean life.”

According to The Staits Times, Singapore had a record number of couples tie the knot in 2022 with 24,767 thousand marriages taking place. This is presumed to have been because couples were resuming their nuptials after the COVID-19 pandemic.

“I have always wanted to get married. As an extrovert I have always enjoyed the company of others and I’m glad to have a lifelong companion,” Carter says.

Yang Dherury, 26, is another young Singaporean resident who hopes of marriage one day in the future.

“Marriage isn’t something that has been on my mind. I am a PHD student, so I focus mostly on my work. If I was to get married, I would need a relationship I would want to keep and move to the next stage.”

According to the Straits Times, eight in 10 young Singaporeans are hoping for marriage in the future. While the numbers indicating citizens determination to get married has slowly been decreasing, many young citizens still hope for marriage. He has noticed an increase in people he knows wanting to get married for a while.

“I notice a lot of people around me getting married definitely.”

When I have the time and the money and the person, things that are necessary for the marriage, I will but it’s not the first thing for me.”

Is divorce common in Singapore?

Singapore divorce rates are relatively low in comparison to other countries around the world. With around 7,107 divorces in 2022 while that same year, Australia had 49,241 divorces granted. The population differences are a factor in why the numbers are so vastly different, with Australia having around 26 million residents and Singapore having five million residents.

Many other factors however contribute to the higher number of marriages and lower number of divorces.

 “In Singapore, there are many policies (housing, support for children) that are dependent on marriage” says Ms Carter.

Assistant professor of sociology and anthropology at the National University of Singapore and Centre for Family and Population Research faculty associate, Dr Zheng Mu has completed research in the field of marriage and family.

“When you are already married you have the peer pressure, and everyone is looking at you and so divorce might be strongly discouraged and sometimes stigmatized by their communities and that probably speaks to the very low divorce rate” says Dr Zheng Mu.

The newer and younger generations in Singapore are the first to start to see a decline in martial numbers while divorce rates remain extremely low. According to Dr Zheng Mu, this is due to both the policies put in place by the Singaporean government to prevent divorce and encourage marriage and the strong values of the older generations that were raised with the notion that marriage is a natural part of life.

“The older generations are still holding very strong families and values and of course the Singapore state has tried to come up with different policies, encouraging people to get married and have children, like with the public housing.”

To receive public housing and the benefits in Singapore, a person must be married. Once over the age of 35, according to Dr Zheng Mu, residents that are single or unmarried are finally able to apply for independent housing.  According to the National Library Board of Singapore, the public housing was established in 1927 by the colonial government under the Singapore Improvement Trust (SIT) with the hope of providing more affordable housing. The Housing and Development Board (HDB) has since replaced the SIT in 1960. To this day the HDB has become the sole provider for residents applying for public housing.

Claire Carter was living at home with her parents until she got married. She believes this is very common amongst Singapore’s youth but has noticed since COVID-19, renting as an unmarried citizen or resident has become more popular but is still not common.

Singaporean residents also do not get support for children unless the parents are in a marital relationship. This in turn, has become a contributing factor as to why residents eventually get married. Having children and getting married are two synonymous things in Singaporean culture.

“Child bearing and marriage in Australia are likely two independent decisions, in Singapore that is not the case” says Dr Zheng Mu.

In Singapore having a child out of wedlock, according to Singapore Legal Advice, makes the child ‘illegitimate’ versus having a ‘legitimate’ child while being married under Singapore law. Having an illegitimate child means that they will be exempted from certain benefits granted to that of a legitimate child.

Benefits such as the public housing benefit, having to wait until the parent is over the age of 35 as a part of the Singles Scheme to have independent housing. The child will also not receive the Baby Bonus which is the dollar-for-dollar match of the savings for the child as well as not receiving Tax Relief, unwed mothers will not receive the same tax reliefs as those who are wed.

These strong policies like child support and public housing are in place to ensure that residents of Singapore are likely to get married and live out what seemed to be the “natural progression” for Singaporean residents.

“There are very strong family policies in place but the counter policies in place are also strong. Singapore is now very well exposed to alternative values,” says Dr Zheng Mu.

“We are very globalised, especially for the younger generation which appreciate our individual autonomy.”

Not wanting to get married in Singapore is also associated with very practical decisions.

Singapore resident, Merissa, aged 20, is a part of the younger generation that doesn’t see marriage as something she expects for herself.

“I never see myself getting married. There are a lot of reasons, but I think my biggest reasons are the rising cost of living.

I don’t see or know a lot of people around our age getting married, so I don’t see it for myself,” Merissa says.

How to get married in Singapore.

Attaining a civil marriage in Singapore is a different process to that of Australia. Before the process can begin the engaged couple must meet certain criteria. The couple must be at least 21 years old, any younger and the couple must attain permission from a parent or guardian. The couple must also be heterosexual as homosexual marriages are still currently illegal in Singapore and they must either be citizens, permanent residents or be marrying someone who is.

Ms Carter found getting marriage in Singapore to be a very simple process.

“It was super easy to apply to get married. I think we just went into the registration of marriage portal and there were clear instructions,” she says.

According to Our Marriage Journey, Singapore’s online marriage assistance website, the process begins by the engaged couple filing a notice of marriage. After the couple is invited to attend the ‘Marriage Preparation Programme,’ which is strongly recommended. The programmes are designed to equip couples with the communication and conflict resolution skills required to partake in a successful marriage.

Once required documents have been supplied, the couple can invite a license solemniser to pronounce them husband and wife. Once this has occurred, the couple can sign their marriage certificate and be legally married.

This story was produced as part of the Curtin Journalism 2024 Singapore Study Tour and supported by funding from the federal government’s New Colombo Plan.